Wedding tradition and etiquette says that second weddings should be simple and casual versus a formal and extravagant to do. However, the number of second or encore wedding ceremonies is growing more and more each year. The simpler wedding ceremonies are created to celebrate two people who want to be a in a marriage with new partners.

        The biggest concern in planning your second Bay Area wedding is announcing it to your children. They should always be the first to be informed about your decision to remarry, since the marriage will combine already-established families. You can expect your children to be stressed by your decision and they will probably need a certain amount of time to accept the situation. Both of your parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to reassure the children about their roles in the new family. Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made. A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small get together is appropriate to announce the special news.


        Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette you probably should not invite exes or their families as to avoid awkwardness, even if you all get along well. If you do invite them, it is only as a courtesy and they should politely decline the invitation. The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.


        Second weddings are normally made in civil ceremonies but they can also be done as a religious ceremony. There are many ways to make the ceremony feel intimate and special. Writing your own vows is common among second weddings and there are many books on the subject. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity and show acceptance. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event. The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle if that is what you want.


        Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second wedding etiquette rules.

-  Only guests should be invited
-  Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.

        Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts.  It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.

Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages
Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
DVD player and DVDs
Charity Donatios
Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books


        The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.

Not Necessary In A Second Marriage

  Rehearsal Dinner
  Attendants
  Accompanying the bride down the aisle
  Procession

Advisable
-  Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.
-  The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.
-  Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.

Please Avoid
-  Doing the same things in like your first wedding.
-  Wearing a similar wedding dress.
-  Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
-  Use old rings from a past marriage.
-  Criticizing former spouses

Optional

-  Showers
-  Engagement Party
-  Announcement in the newspaper
-  Rehearsal Dinner
-  A laving wedding with attendants
-  Parents walking down the aisle
-  A different color for the wedding dress instead of white